


Love, royed

by 5_0_5



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Blind Roy Mustang, Boys In Love, Canon Compliant, Declarations Of Love, Falling In Love, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love, M/M, Major Age Differences, POV Roy Mustang, Roy doesnt stay blind, Underage - Freeform, Underage Sex, roy is in awe of ed, roy is thirteen years older than ed, safe smut, soft, thirteen year age gap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 03:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19433182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5_0_5/pseuds/5_0_5
Summary: Love unfurled in his chest at all the cheers for Edward as he fought, alchemy crackling loud and clear. He loved Edward Elric, and he would get to love Edward Elric tomorrow. "Edward!" Roy screamed alongside everyone else.Roy falls for Edward, and Edward falls right back.It’s the whole anime, but Roy loves Edward even though he shouldn’t and that’s okay.





	Love, royed

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in tandem while watching brotherhood, so its written a little weird.   
> No beta ofc so it probably has an asston of mistakes

When Roy got the call that there was a gifted Alchemist in a southeastern town named Resembool, the first thing he thought of was the Ishvalan invasion of that town many years ago, in the civil war.

When he was instructed to go and see for himself this gifted Alchemist, he expected a man 30 or 40 years old, but what he found made his blood cold in a way nothing had since Ishval.

He knocked on the Elric home’s door and waited, Riza right by his side, and when they got no answer for a while, he opened the door and stifled his surprise with how easy it opened. He and Riza inspected the home before Roy stumbled on the basement, and horror crept into his bones.

A near perfect human transmutation array drawn solidly in white chalk along the floor, blood that was clearly weeks old splattered in the center of it. Books were knocked over along the floor, and there was blood outside of the circle smeared along the ground. Then, anger bled into him. How could a grown man, a knowledgeable alchemist, commit this atrocity? How could anyone commit such a terrible crime? And, arguably, how could anyone walk away?

"They're not out back either," Riza says, her voice steady behind him. "What is this?" She says as soon as she sees the array.

His anger deepens, "where are they?" He snarls at Riza, a faint look of horror on her face, "find the Elric brothers now!" She leads him out of the basement, and they find their way to Rockbell AutoMail the following day.

A dog with a metal front leg barks at them harshly as they climb the steps and knock on the door. Anger still in Roy's features and veins, he prepares to face the man who tried to commit human transmutation as a little old woman opens the door.

Roy forces the door open completely and stomps past her, his mind set in his rage. He spots them almost immediately.

He expects a grown man, not a child. Not a broken child sitting in a wheelchair with only one arm and one leg, eyes dead.

Roy stomps to the child, grabs him by the front of his shirt and pulls him up close to his face. "We went to your house, we saw the floor, what was that?" Roy demanded, his voice snarling and angry, "what did you do?" Realization alit in the child's eyes, and he looked down, sorrow in his face as he let out a shuddering breath.

"We're sorry," a child's voice came from a suit of armor Roy had managed to overlook. It walked over to him and set its hand on the arm holding the Elric kid, "we didn't mean it." Roy looked at it as it repeated 'we're sorry' a few times while shaking, his voice so childlike and sad that Roy's heart broke a little.

The realization hit Roy hard as he looked at the suit of armor, "wait, are you-" he cut himself off and set the kid back down onto the wheelchair. After the explanation offered by Pinako Rockbell, Alphonse Elric (a ten-year-old child whose soul is now bound to armor, Roy could’ve cried), and Edward Elric. He found himself in awe of the child, and an eleven-year-old boy capable of things some men would never be able to do in their whole lives.

Alphonse had seemed the most sorrowful, "we just wanted to see our mother smile again."

"I tried, and I failed." Edward said, his voice low, "you can't bring the dead back to life. Not ever."

"I heard of rumors of a brilliant Alchemist living here so I came to check them out, but the last thing I expected was a boy skilled enough to attempt human transmutation, or bond a soul to a suit of armor."

And Roy looked at these two children and thought of the horror they just went through, and then of all the things the military would make them do, and he made the decision anyway. "I'd say he's more than qualified to become a State Alchemist," Roy saw the look in Ed's eyes shift, and could hear the awe in his own voice, "should he choose to accept the position, they'd be required to serve the military in times of emergency, in return he'd receive privileges and access to things he may otherwise be restricted from."

He thought for a moment, the lost look still in Edwards' eyes and couldn't help himself, "given time he may be able to find a way to restore their body's, or even more." At that statement, Pinako slapped her pipe harshly against the ashtray.

"Right after he came stumbling to my door covered in blood and half dead, I went over to their house to see what they'd done," Pinakos face looked pale, "what was there, whatever that thing was, it wasn't human. Alchemy created that abomination, it nearly killed them! And you want to throw those boys headlong long into it?" Pinako screamed at him from across the table, "would you really have them put through that kind of hell again?"

Anger present all over her, Roy sighed. "The decision is theirs to make." He turned to the brothers, "will you move forward? Or will you sit in that chair wallowing in your self-pity? Will you stand up and seize the chance the military can give you? If you believe there's a possibility of getting your body's back you should do whatever it takes, even if the way ahead lies through a river of mud." As Roy spoke, he could see fire light in Edwards' eyes, and he turned and left.

Roy kept tabs on the two after that, heard soon of Edwards decision to get automail limbs, then of his recovery lasting only a single year. Roy returned to Resembool under the word that Edward would be taking the state Alchemists exam.

What he saw was a stark difference to the sorrowful and guilt-ridden child in a wheelchair. Edward was now on two legs sparring with Alphonse, leaping into the air, his automail arm glinting in the sun, exposed by his t-shirt.

Roy watched intently as the boys clashed, the sounds of metal on metal ringing through the air. The two caught sight of Roy, and before Roy could even get close enough to really see Ed's arm, he was shrugging on a black leather coat.

A girl came out and threw a wrench at Edwards' head, and he heard a slight snort come from Riza. The girl, Winry Rockbell, reprimanded Edward for "messing up her automail" and Roy took brief pause at that. Did she build his arm and leg? The boy didn't seem to care much and met Roy on the dirt road leading to the Rockbell home before him and Riza could reach it.

"Alright, let's get this over with," Edward said boredly and brushed past Roy, suitcase in hand.

"Leaving already, Elric?" Edward just shrugged. Roy sighed lightly and followed him. This Ed was definitely a stark difference to the wheelchair-bound defeated child he once was, this one was alive and animated.

Roy stood up in the gallery, his gaze focused on Edward, interested to see what the kid would do. He watched as Ed denied a drawing tool for arrays, and he leaned forward in his interest. Edward clapped his hands and a ringing sounded through the room, and he placed his hands on the blank ground and a blue ring sparked around him.

He was transmuting without an array, Roy realized in awe. He drew a spear taller than himself from the ground with what seemed to be no effort at all, and sprinted full force at Fuhrer Bradley and put the spear blade at his throat. Every officer surrounding Bradley trained their guns on Ed.

"Y'know, there are some people who'd see this as a good way to assassinate a v.i.p." Once again, this kid had managed to impress him.

"You certainly have nerves of steel young man, but I'd say you still have much to learn." The Fuhrer said as he left, and the tip of Ed's spear snapped off.

The Fuhrer came to Roy later on that day, handed him Edwards State Alchemist certification and pocket watch, and assigned Edward to his team. He presented the watch to Ed, and then his certification. The Fullmetal Alchemist.

Roy smirked when he read it, "It seems our Fuhrer isn't without a certain sense of irony."

"Why's that?"

"Nothing. Congratulations Edward, you've just officially become a dog of the military."

Ed read it for a minute, "Fullmetal?"

"That's right, all State Alchemists receive a code name. Officially, you will now be known as the Fullmetal Alchemist." Roy's eyes were locked on his exposed automail hand, he thought of the look in Ed's eyes the day he met him, and his smirk fell into a smile.

3 years later, Edward and Alphonse infiltrate and liberate the town of Liore from a false prophets control, then they take ownership of a mining town and give it to a townsperson, then thwart a train hijacking while traveling to East City and Roy hates them for how much paperwork he has to do.

Roy introduces them to Shou Tucker to help them gain knowledge on restoring their bodies, and something he knows he'll regret for longer than he ever wants to. The look in Edward's eyes of utter defeat was one he hadn't seen since he first saw him as a young child.

Then Nina Tucker and the dog she shared her body with were murdered by an Ishvalan man named Scar, and he knew Edward would get himself into trouble he shouldn’t be in, but he still only opted to watch.

Edward fought Scar for a long time before Roy showed up. Roy rounded the street corner in time to see blue sparks emit from an alchemic reaction and Edward's automail arm bust to pieces. It was the first time he'd seen Edward without something covering his arm, the scar on his shoulder rough and red, clear even through the distance and the rain.

He watched as Edward, small and lithe and scared, try to crawl across the ground away from Scar as Alphonse yelled for his brother to run away.

"Unfortunately, there isn't any god I’d like to pray to," Edward said, his voice strained from pain, in response to Scars offering for prayer. "Am I the only one you're trying to kill today, or are you going after my brother too?" His voice entirely too calm, too _empty_.

"If he interferes I will eliminate him, but you Fullmetal Alchemist are the only one receiving judgment today." Roy ran hard down the street, praying backup was right behind him.

"Okay, in that case, I want your word." The determination in Ed's eyes, visible even from Roy's distance, broke his heart, he really was about to give his own life for Alphonse, "promise me you won't hurt my brother." Scar nodded in acknowledgment, and Roy's heart broke further.

The sight of this kid laying on the ground, his small body shivering slightly from the rain, prepared for death. Roy shot first, right as Scars hand was a centimeter away from Edward's head.

"That's enough!" Roy yelled, "you won't be killing anyone today, I am taking you into custody."

The Ishvalan went on a rant about the ethics of his god and alchemy and recognized Roy as the Flame Alchemist. Scar charged at him as Roy slipped on his gloves. He kept his eyes off the boy lying on the ground and snapped his fingers. Nothing happened for a moment, before he was shoved out of the way by Riza, who opened fire on the Ishvalan.

The fight was dealt with fast, but even as it carried on Edward was still analyzing and recognizing the technicalities of Scars alchemy, and breaking it down.

Scar escaped, and Roy turned his full attention towards the Elrics, and even through the dreary rain and dirt and smoke from Scar's escape, Edward's golden hair and eyes stood out like a beacon of light, and Roy still found his eyes stuck on the exposed shoulder and missing arm. He watched as Edward ran clumsily to his brother, and made sure he was okay, and watched as the brothers argued over Edward's almost-sacrifice.

And Roy once again was in awe at the two brothers, broken down in an ally, found laughter between them, and he found himself with a small, fond smile.

He led Ed back to central, and if he kept his hand on the small of Edwards back the whole way, no one would say anything.

In Roy's office, Ed kept himself close to Al, and Roy had time to really look at Ed's arm. He was eleven when the automail port was attached to his arm, the red scarring harsh against his pale skin and the metal at his shoulder still glinting in the light.

And Roy maybe was falling a little in love. Edward smiled, wires connected to his nerves hanging from the automail port, most likely still in a lot of pain, and reassured his brother, and Roy saw the fire in Ed's eyes again.

But Edward is 15 and Roy refuses to acknowledge the ache in his heart when Ed stands and leaves. He ignores missing Edward much like he ignores a lot of other things, by pretending he’s someone he’s not and letting Hawkeye rail into him about how bad of a worker he is. It doesn’t really work.

Roy hears from Major Armstrong of the Elric brothers burning down their own home 3 years ago, and that they did it so they couldn't turn back from the mission they had. And he smiles fondly again, albeit a little heartbroken.

When Maes dies, Roy blames Ed. Ed got him wrapped up in something bigger than he could manage, and the knowledge he sought out to help the Elrics got him killed. He blames Ed for a week after Maes' death, and then he just couldn't do it anymore.

He knew Ed was just a child, and when he heard of Edwards trip to central, he knew he had to protect him from this knowledge. Maybe because he was a child, and maybe because he didn't want to see the defeated look in Edwards' eyes again. Maybe because Roy was selfish. So he tells Edward a lie that Edward finds out is a lie not too long after.

And Edward is there when Roy burns what Ed thinks to be Maria, his friend. And Roy cuts off the swell of guilt and shame when he sees Ed there, and plays up the part to protect Maria.

"Hey there, Fullmetal." He hears how cold his voice is and remembers that Edward is only 15, and sees a look in his eyes he'll be drowning in alcohol. Ed looks so betrayed, so hurt. Roy thinks about how Ed just really lost Hughes recently, and hates himself all the worse for it.

"What happened here?" Ed's voice barely held back from screaming, his fists clenching in anger. He's so angry, but Ed is always angry, Roy resigns himself to the resentment from Edward and says nothing. "What happened here, Colonel, tell me!" Ed screams at him, his eyes flaming with fury, and Roy wonders not for the first time how much of a monster he really can be. "Why Colonel?" The anger is beginning to deepen, to turn the fire in Ed's eyes cold.

Roy knows his skill, but he doesn't know if he can take Ed in a real fight. A fight where Ed was really trying to hurt him. "Why was Hughes murdered? And why did second lieutenant Ross-" Ed cuts himself off runs at him, takes Roy's suit coat into his hands, and Roy doesn't really see Edward, he sees the boy he blames for Hughes' murder, and looks at him in pseudo anger. "Why didn't you say anything?" He screams into Roys' face. And blaming Ed for something he didn't do makes it easier to hit him across the face so hard he falls to the ground.

"You threatened a superior officer, you forget yourself, Elric." He reprimands, and the self-hatred when he sees the red mark on Ed's face and the sheer rage in his eyes unfurls familiarly, and he thinks this may be when Edward really tries to hurt him.

But Roy is angry and everyone is against him and he doesn’t want to lose Ed too. Edward is angry at so many things, has been hurt by so much, and Roy hates to be one of them. He watches the anger and hurt in Ed's face as he charges at him, and Alphonse grabs him and pulls him back, and he turns his back to the insults from Edward and walks away.

He feels Ed's eyes on him the whole time Maria Ross' body is being investigated, how betrayed he is. But if Maria is safe, and the real killer still needs to be caught, he can live with the hatred from the Elric, even if he'll have to drown himself in whiskey.

“The infamous hero of the Ishvalan war, going this far against a little girl.” Dr. Nox says, his voice so disappointed, and Roy thinks of the look on Ed's face. "It makes me sick.” Nox walks off, and Ed snarls as Major Armstrong says his apologies, anger looking so wrong on him it hurts Roy. He knew he could trust Armstrong, and Ed, so he decided to send Armstrong east. But he still can't shake the shame off, can't shake the look Edward had been giving him all night. Nothing can ever be easy.

When Edward realizes Maria is alive, and why Roy had done what he did, he smiles. Being angry at the bastard, no matter how justified, felt so wrong.

Roy got word that a certain alchemist was fixing stuff all around town, that it seemed he was showing off, and knew without hearing the name knew that it was Fullmetal, and he knew it couldn't be good.

Roy realized quickly that Ed was trying to lure Scar out to fight him, and Roy sighed heavily. "Have you lost your mind? Did you forget the way he tore you apart last time?" And of course, Ed mocks him, because giving a shit about Edward means him making it the hardest thing he could.

But with the mocking, the pain from the anger in Ed's eyes fades away completely, so he supposes it's fine. Then Scar finds them, armed to kill, and Roy is worried, Ed didn't have to see his own fifteen-year-old body slung onto the ground and almost killed, and Roy knows that there's nothing he can do to stop Ed.

"We're using Brother as bait to lure the homunculi out since they can't let us be hurt," Al said, his voice as young and soft as ever, and the worry in Roy multiples tenfold.

But he could see the two have grown as alchemists, particularly the eldest, and knows he has to let Fullmetal handle this.

Behind the wall Al built, Roy can hear the sparking of alchemy alongside grunts from Edward and feel the shifting earth, and he wants so desperately to help that it pains him to turn away and leave.

The next time Roy sees Ed, there's a bandage wrapped around his head spotted with blood and his hair falling loosely around his shoulders, acting like a golden halo in the light and looks so soft Roy imagines running his finger through it.

And there's a fire, bright and baffling, in his eyes, and Roy knows he can't love him, that he shouldn't, but the warmth that spreads through him when Ed smiles feels so much better than everything else in his heart.

Then Edward dies, gets swallowed up by Gluttony even after everything Roy tried, and it's his fault because Gluttony was after him.

Roy watches Al try to tear Gluttony's stomach open, and he sees what Al really is, a fourteen-year-old child just trying to get his body back. And his heart aches.

As Nox speeds away, Roy thinks of what Al must look like, how he would look so similar to Ed, with golden hair and golden eyes. He remembers the pictures hung up in the Rockbell home, of two young, happy children who had not yet known their fates would be twisted in loss and agony. And he wretches, Riza rubs his back, and Roy mourns the loss of another person he loved and would have died for, and he could have saved had he been fast enough.

So much happens to Roy, and it takes its toll on him, heavy and hard, and when he sees Ed again, alive, walk into Fuhrer Bradley's - Wrath's - office he can barely hold in his relief.

Edward is alive and fighting and burning with fire in his golden eyes and he looks good. It hurts to look at Ed after he spent days mourning him, but it doesn't surprise him the kid was brilliant enough to find a way out. He takes Ed owing him 520 centz as a promise he will see Ed again, and it rests the fury burning inside him, even a little. He will see Ed again.

Ed looks good in civilian clothes, old in a way a sixteen-year-old shouldn't be. His metal hand on display in ways it never really is, his face open and his eyes soft, and Roy thinks it's enough to get him through everything that's about to happen.

Then Ed asks Roy to follow him up to his room, so Roy does. Roy slides Ed's jacket off and looks to Ed's eyes to find them truly golden, dancing in the light from the fireplace.

Roy takes Ed's shirt off and lets his fingers trail over the automail port and scars on Ed's left arm for a moment. And his heart breaks, an eleven-year-old child went through this, but the fire in Ed's eyes lets him take his own clothes off, to expose his own scars and leave him open for Ed to judge and Ed decides, nonchalant and instinctive like he does everything else, that Roy Mustang is more of a man for what he's lost, and lets Roy lead him to bed.

So Roy does.

Despite it being so wrong and so immoral and the fact that he really shouldn’t, he does. Ed lets Roy push him into the mattress, strip him bare, kiss the metal connecting his limbs to skin, and Ed lets only Roy hear him gasp and moan " _Roy_ " and Roy decides he's better a man than he was before for it.

He awakes to himself cradling a small body to him, a warm metal arm slung over his waist to hold him back, and he smiles all too fondly, and kisses the top of the gold-haired head and holds Edward tighter. If he wouldn't get to hold Edward in the pale morning light like this again once this was all over, he might not be able to pull himself from the sheets.

The next Roy hears of Ed, it's the news that Ed fought Solf J. Kimblee and got a metal rod through his stomach. The two men, Darius and Heinkel, relayed many details frantically over the phone.

How Ed originally safely defeated and disarmed Kimblee, how Kimblee spit out a philosophers stone and brought a building down on top of them, how a metal rod fell through Ed's stomach, how Ed saved them then had them pull the rod from his stomach, then performed healing alchemy.

And Roy imagined the sight in his head, graphic and heartbreaking.

Ed's lithe body slumping to the concrete floor as debris lay around him, his golden hair shining in the sunlight streaming down from the hole above him, framing him almost like a fallen angel, his blood glinting in that sunlight.

Roy imagines Ed, in immeasurable pain and oh so close to death, forcing himself up while blood still pools around him, the fire in his eyes and the determination in his jaw as he sits, as the men pull the rod from his stomach and as he heals himself. And Roy wants to hold him, to lay Ed softly onto silk sheets and pull his clothes from his body, to kiss the new scar adorning his skin. And he promises himself as soon as Ed gets home, he'll hold him soft, curl him up in cotton blankets, cook him a meal, and let him rest. But now, Edward recovers in a hospital, and Roy has to wait.

He gets a call from Ed soon, "Don’t you worry about me old man, I'm revving at full throttle." The boy says, and Roy could see his golden eyes dancing from the tone in his voice. Roy grins, wishes him luck, and mouths 'I love you'.

Ed fighting pride, backed by a half circle of fire made him look somewhat like a guardian angel, Heinkel said.

Watching Ed take blow after blow to his right arm, dancing around on the defensive, his hair golden like a halo and bright against Prides black shadows felt like watching an angel stretch out its wings and fly. Roy closes his eyes and imagines the ferocious look Ed would have on his face as he fought, his eyes bright and focused, reflecting the flames around him, his mouth pulled back in a razor-sharp smirk, as confident and assured in his own power as always.

He was, of course, the youngest State Alchemist ever. Roy longed to see, to touch Edward, and prayed to every god he knew of (even Ishvala, his guilt be damned) that Ed would survive this. And everyday he woke up alone, sunlight streaming on his sheets where Edward should’ve been, Roy grew more restless and impatient to see the brilliant alchemist.

Roy came in, flames blazing, and Ed let his fear melt away with it. The unabiding guilt in his gut and heart at the creatures in front of him protesting the ash the Flame Alchemist spread across the floor, but he put his head down instead. Ed saw the gleaming look in Roy's eyes, determination as he asked for Maes' killer, the fury in his voice.

Nothing about Roy Mustang ever sat entirely okay with Ed, but he found himself still loving everything about the man. The order in his voice, anger and confidence, the precision and power in his flames, the cold in his eyes, Ed admired it all.

"Go, Elric." Roy barked out, sounding annoyed, but Ed knew Roy better than that, read the look in his eyes as desperation, please go, I don't want you to see this. So Ed went, though he knew to price to arrogance, to revenge.

Ed flinched, almost, at the sight of Roy. His face twisted ugly in anger, his foot on Envy. He knew this, the look of utter rage in his eyes.

And Ed knew he couldn't let Roy go through with this. Ed thought of waking up to Roy, the colonel's hands playing with his hair, a fond smile on his face, completely at ease.

He could let Roy do this, to destroy what he had of himself left. Yes, Envy had killed Maes, but if Roy fought fire with fire, it would only get out of control. The look of rage directed at Edward, however expected, hurt more than he would admit. It crushed his heart to make the man so angry as to seem like he would've lit Ed ablaze alongside Envy if it weren't for Riza and the gun she had to his head. Yet another thing to add to his nightmares, nothing he couldn't handle, Ed tried to assure himself.

"Ah, Fullmetal." False friendliness barely covered the hate in Roy's voice, the hate in Roy's eyes. "I'll be taking that." Roy held out his hand for Envy, and Ed saw the raging need for revenge, the almost palpable need the man had to kill the creature in Ed's hand. "Give it to me right now!" Roy commanded, "That is an order."

"No, I won't." Ed wanted to believe Roy wouldn't hurt him, but the sparking in his fingers and the look in his eyes didn't assure him of anything.

Ed wouldn't let the colonel destroy himself, he'd heard too much of Isval to let Roy do this.

"Give him to me, or I'll burn up your hand along with him!" Roy bellowed, his fingers ready to snap.

"Try it then!" Ed yelled back, familiar anger curling into him. Anger would never be unfamiliar to Ed, but how familiar this one was hurt. It was a type of anger he would only have for Alphonse, for Winry, for his friends. The anger at watching them make a mistake he knew they wouldn't come back from.

"If it's a fight you want, fine! But first, take a good look at your face!" The anger set into Roy's eyebrows, the hate. It stung even Ed, who'd faced his fair share of anger. "Is that what you want to be, Colonel? Another monster?" Trying to talk sense into Roy felt like talking to a brick wall, but he saw recognition in Roy's eyes. Roy wasn't a monster, and if Ed could help it, he would never be one.

The Isvalan beside him spoke to Roy, "are you becoming a beast?" Ed turned to look at him, Roy had killed Scars brother, Scar trying to pull him back to sense wasn't something Ed would have expected.

"Give into revenge. You can if you want to, I won't stop you." Scar said, "what right do I have to stop a man taking vengeance. But still, I shudder to think what kind of world a man held captive by his own hate would create, once he becomes its ruler." Scar struck a nerve in Roy, brought acknowledgment into Roy's eyes.

"You're about to do something reckless, this won't help anyone!" Ed yelled at Roy, "not your country nor your friends! This is pure hatred, and I won't let it take you. You're better, I know you're better than that." Ed could hear the shaking in his voice, the hurt. He was laying himself bare for Roy, doing this for Roy. Roy shot an inferno down the passageway next to him, and it lit him up golden, and Edward smiled. Angels light, he remembered a book saying from his childhood, was golden. Angels glowed gold when they felt lost.

And then Roy's fists clenched, "I, what kind of madness is this?" He looked broken, his voice strained and hurt. "Scolded and lectured by a man who was my enemy. And I’ve hurt you Edward." Roy walks slowly to Ed, cupping his hand gently over Ed's jaw, "please forgive me?" He searched Ed's eyes for a moment, before his knees gave out and he dropped to the ground. Ed passed Envy to Scar and dropped down to the ground with Roy.

Envy let out a screech, began rattling off the things the four of them had done. Demanding they kill each other, sounding so pathetic that Ed really did pity the thing.

"We humans," he started, "are supposed to be nothing when compared to homunculi, according to you." Edward stood, turned his full body to Envy held tight in Scars hand. "And yet, you're jealous of humans. When we're beaten down, when we stray and we fall, we face the challenge again and again. Our loved ones are always there to pick us back up." He turned to Roy, offering him a hand to help him up, "and you're jealous. You envy us because of that.” Then Envy killed itself, his last words "goodbye Edward Elric." And Roy breathed full again.

And soon, Ed and Roy fell back into bantering. Picking on each other, borderline arguing. And it was safety, it was home. In a place, they were not fully sure they would get out of, in a place they weren't sure they'd survive.

Scar spoke up after a while walking through the maze-like hallways "We're getting close."

"So you can feel it too?" Ed was hunched in on himself a little bit, his jacket pulled a little tighter around himself.

"You mean you can sense him or something?" Riza asked.

"Let's just say I've got a bad feeling, my old wounds are starting to ache." And Roy then thought of the little eleven-year-old kid, defeated and broken. And he looked at Ed now, really looked at him.

Ed looked every bit the seventeen-year-old man he was. His jaw hard and sharp, face grown and determined. Roy then thought 'when did he grow up on me' but decided that maybe he hadn't been looking close enough, seeing the little body laying on the ground instead of where the edges started to define, where Ed began to fill out.

He was tall now, almost as tall as Roy, and he was so much more mature than he'd been before. "When did you grow up on me Fullmetal?" Roy whispered to himself.

"What's that, Mustang?" Ed asked, to which Roy shrugged "nothing."

They fought side by side against the candidates, and then the blue crackling light erupted, and horror engulfed Ed.

The eye under him, the door to Truth, the black almost-hands destroying his body. He fought against it hard, screaming. And Roy watched.

He watched as Ed wailed in fear and anger and pain, his body being torn apart by thin black tendrils, Ed melting away. It was horrific and Roy couldn't close his eyes.

"No- Edward!" His own voice deaf to his ears. For a brief moment, he imagined little eleven-year-old Ed and ten-year-old Alphonse being ripped apart like this, and almost puked from the thought.

"Bastard!" Ed yelled, and Roy focused on the fire in his eyes just before he was gone completely, and knew he would be back.

Then Roy is held down, and the gold-toothed scientist talked about Hughes, and then recognition hit Roy. He was a sacrifice, and he would be forced to commit human transmutation. And Roy does, his hands pinned down by swords and pain erupting inside him. He goes through the portal of truth, learns the knowledge, and drops to the voice of Edward, his eyes aching.

"Fullmetal? Where are we?"

"The bearded guys' hideout. Now, what happened? What did they do to you?" Ed's voice was barely contained anger as he held onto Roy.

"I went into some kind of gate-"

"the portal!" Edward exclaimed, "but that means they took something from you. But your arms and legs are still here, I-"

"Fullmetal, I don't expect you to be able to see my condition when it's this dark." He said, but he felt Ed stiffen.

"What do you mean?" his voice young to Roy's ears, and he knows something is wrong.

"It's all dark, pitch black." Roy finally takes his hand off his face, and stand up. He stumbles around for a second, "where are the lights?" He doesn't understand why Ed won't answer him.

"No." Ed gasps softly, a sense of horror in his voice, "It can't be." And then realized hits Roy hard. His eyes. The gate took his sight.

"Ah, so you can't see, then. That's good, we've found your abilities to be quite problematic." A voice says mockingly, _Pride_ Roy thinks.

"Roy?" Ed asked, crouching close to Roy, hurt and worry for the man suddenly being overtaken by familiar anger again, "you performed it? Human transmutation?" Ed asks, his voice almost a snarl, and Roy almost laughs.

"Of course not. You think I'd willingly do such a thing?" He knew Ed didn't, but it hurt nonetheless. Then Pride explained forcing him to, smug and proud.

The creature who had consumed Hohenheim mocked Ed for his mistake, condescending. It talked of being a god, and Roy knew he wasn't, but the awe unfurling in him when Edward cut what sounded to be a grossly grotesque creature off was reassuring.

"I don't think so!" Edward yelled, loud and deep, at the thing, and everything fell quiet. Roy could hear Edward shaking with rage. "If he'd done it of his own volition like we did, that would be one thing," and the sheer rage and hatred and venom in Ed's voice made Roy freeze, cold to his bones. He'd never heard such a tone from Edward, never heard such disgust. "But to force someone to what we did against his will, and then steal his eyesight," Roy heard Edward get to his feet, almost certainly still shaking with rage, "you think that's justified? That isn't a truth I'm willing to accept!" Ed screamed at the thing before them all.

Roy heard the familiar hum of alchemy as Ed and Al clapped, and his fear quelled a bit inside him. As Ed fought Pride, Roy could hear the snap of Prides shadows hitting Ed's arm or leg, and Ed mock and taunt Pride. Then he was engulfed by something, and knew it was time to be sacrificed, fear bled into his veins. Then Greed appeared, and they were being dragged across the ground.

And then he awoke, standing, apparently having been sacrificed. Ed screamed at the would-be god, and then who he'd heard as Hohenheim, Ed's father, revealed he had a plan to thwart the would-be god. He comes to with Riza right in front of him, and he tells her what he can, but he knows Ed is still fighting and he worries. He would never get to see Edward again, never see fire-lit golden eyes again, but he could hear him, touch him. And Roy couldn't lose that.

He stands on the concrete while Ed fights Father. He hears Ed beg his brother not to do something, and Riza is too horrified to say anything, and then a clap followed by alchemic cracking sound in front of him.

"Al just-" Riza took a shuddering breath, "Alphonse just sacrificed himself to give Ed his arm back." She said, and Roy felt tears sting his eyes. The youngest Elric was dead.

And then Edward screams in anguish, and Roy can hear Edward go ballistic on Father, everyone around him cheering him on. And what a sight it would be to see, Roy wished he could.

Love unfurled in his chest at all the cheers for Edward as he fought, alchemy crackling loud and clear. He loved Edward Elric, and he would get to love Edward Elric tomorrow. "Edward!" Roy screamed alongside everyone else.

"Get up you novice! I'm about to show you how outclassed you really are!" Edward yells, and Roy smirks. This seventeen-year-old outranked and out-powered a god, "this fight you lose." Then cheers rang out praising Edwards win, and Roy wished he could see to run and hold Edward. A boy both too young and too powerful for everything that he's done. Then the fight is really over, and everyone takes a real breath.

"It's not completely over," Riza says, "Al is still gone." And fear for Edward spikes through his body, he's seen the lengths Edward would go for his brother.

"No!" Edward screams suddenly, "I can't do that you dumbass!" Riza leans slightly harder on Roy. "This doesn't have anything to do with you. It's our own damn fault! I won't use another human life for Al! Why should you sacrifice yourself for our mistake?" Edward screams at someone, Roy's heart clenches in sadness.

"Because I'm his father." Hohenheim says simply, then begs for Ed to do this, and Roy can hear Ed whimpering.

Ed cries, "shut up you rotten father, you say something that dumb again and I'll knock you out!" And then Ed's crying fully, Roy wishing to everything he can to be there with Ed.

After a few minutes, Roy hears a pipe scrape along the ground. And then a few gasps, "he's drawn a human transmutation circle!" Riza exclaims beside him, and Roy lurches forward to stop Edward before he can do anything stupid.

But before he can get two steps forward, there's a loud clap and then alchemic crackling, and Roy's heart drops. This could very well be him losing Ed, Ed sacrificing himself for Al because he's a stupid older brother who'd do anything to protect his younger brother.

Riza gasps, clear, and stumbles forward a step, "I, It-Its Al," she says weakly, "Alphonse, his real body, is right there, I can't-" she cuts herself off. "Ed is there too, he looks like he did before." And Roy breathes deeply, then hears a soft voice. Undeniably Al's, free of the echo from the armor.

Everyone is admitted to the hospital, and recovery lasts a few days. But soon, Roy is learning of Isvalan culture, determined to restore Ishvala, when Dr.Nox and Marcoh come in, and offer him his eyes back. He's about to refuse when he thinks of getting to see Edward again, his smile, his eyes, him. And allows Marcoh to restore his eyes after Havoc's legs.

Ed visits him, alongside Al, and tells him, "we're going home, to Resembool. So Al can recover. I'll be back in central soon, Roy." Then presses a faint kiss to Roys temple, and leaves. Roy smiles, when Ed returns, he'll have his eyesight back to see him. And everything is okay. Before they go, Roy pulls the boys into a hug, and a tear almost slips from his eye. He never know if Ed would be able to restore their bodies, he had faith, sure, but he never knew. And to feel Al's warmth and Ed's flesh arm was what gave him the determination to make into his Fuhrer-ship.

A year of occasional calls from Ed. And one day, Roy walks into his office and its a normal day, until he hears a loud ruckus outside of his office door, voices overlapping each other, and when he opens his door he sees a man with long blonde hair flowing loosely over his shoulders in light waves, and soft golden eyes. And his heart feels full again.

"Edward?" And Ed stomps right up to him, grabs him by the collar, and yanks him down to kiss him hard right in front of all Roys workers. And all he can do is kiss back.

He takes Ed home, holding him close the whole way, leads him through the door, pushes him against it and rips his shirt off. This Ed is eighteen, a man with a hard jaw and beautiful eyes, and Roy kisses him enough that Ed's lips swell a bit. He lays Edward down on the bed and kisses everything he can reach, the red scarring on his shoulder, his collarbone, the pipe-hole scar, the automail leg, everything. And he makes love to Edward, runs his fingers through his hair and looks into his eyes, and tells him "I love you, Edward Elric." And Ed says it back.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is always adored, please leave a kudos or comment if you liked the story, thank you so much 
> 
> Now I'm going to drop into a coma for a bit


End file.
